Overcome Grief: Journaling Towards My New Beginning Part Two
To help others overcome grief, one of the most powerful things we can share as grievers is our story.
I want to share mine.
To do this, I am going to publish a series of blog posts about me and my relationship with my mom. This is my second post.
These posts consist of memories both past and present, random thoughts, basically a brain dump of the things I needed to get out of my head in order to help myself overcome grief.
If you’re interested in learning more about how I came to write these, visit my guest blog posts on Alison’s notebook!
Read to the very end, because next, I want to hear and share YOUR story.
I remember living in our second apartment in Rancho.
You were so protective.
You didn’t want me to go past the light posts outside our apartment, because you couldn’t see past them.
I wanted to go to the park so badly.
I wanted to go to my friend’s house on the other side of the complex too.
It didn’t matter how old I got. I was still to stay within those two light posts.
Even when I was old enough to walk to and from school.
We went to the beach one summer.
I must have been in grade school… sometime between 4th and 6th grade.
It was one of the first times I got to invite a friend to go with us. I think it was just the three of us.
I was so excited.
I had already fallen in love with the beach, and boogie boarding, and body surfing. We went pretty frequently growing up, just to get away.
Anyway, we were all out in the water, the tide was low that day and so we went pretty far out because the water wasn’t too deep.
We were having so much fun.
Out of nowhere the waves started crashing harder and the water started getting rougher.
There were some strangers out with us that far too and we were all stuck in it and keeping an eye out for each other.
By the time the second wave came that took us all under, I started getting scared. I kept trying to hold your hand, and we kept getting pulled apart. My friend was at your other side holding your hand too. All three of us kept getting tossed around further apart and every time we had a chance we would swim back to each other before the next wave hit.
Then there was wave 4, wave 5, wave 6…
eventually we couldn’t keep together so every time you resurfaced back to the top, you would call our names to make sure we resurfaced too.
I remember being jealous because you would call my friends name first, before mine.
I was more cautious in the water after that day.
Our relationship probably changed after that day.
I wish I could remember more about my childhood.
More specifically, about our relationship pre-middle school and pre-teenage years.
I remember certain things…
I remember cuddling. A lot.
I remember swimming almost every weekend while we did laundry.
I remember the frustration when I was so shy that I couldn’t order my own food at my own grade school.
I remember the phrase, “If you want to cry, I’ll give you something to cry about.”
I remember my balloon filled room for one of my birthdays.
I remember all the arts and crafts and a group of girls at our house for another birthday.
I remember a field trip that you went on. It was the one and only field trip you ever took time off work to go to with me.
I was so happy.
I remember some of girl scouts and the fact that the troop leader was my best friend’s mom.
I remember movie nights at the park and our mother daughter neighbors.
I think a part of me wanted that to be us…
To be living together still as adults, just the two of us.
Taking care of each other.
What happens next?
This series will consist of four parts!
Our stories are powerful and relatable and help us know that we’re not alone in our grief and that by sharing and working together, we can overcome grief.
Help me share your story!